Arnica Montana

This could be your new best friend. And no, I’m not talking about me. Ask around, I’m not that great a friend. I’m talking about this stuff called Arnica Montana. Arnica_montana_-_Köhler–s_Medizinal-Pflanzen-015.jpg

Since this is non-fiction, I’ll open with an anecdote. On a light and not-so-stormy afternoon, I was rushing around trying to clean up the rec room before some friends arrived for dinner. In my haste, I nearly lost a finger. And by “lost,” I don’t mean misplaced, but rather destroyed.

As I lifted this heavy-duty cot, it decided to collapse itself on my hand (I’m guessing it was tired from upholding my 12-year old all night?). The pain was rich, intense, immediate. My right index finger was scissored between two fat metal poles. At some point my brain caught its breath and began sending  signals to rescue my finger. Between the pain and disfigurement, I nearly fainted (which would obviously liven up this anecdote but alas, wouldn’t be true).

Eventually I remembered we had a tube of Arnica gel and began applying it liberally. I’d slather it on my finger (now all dented and blue), wait for it to dry, then slather it on again. After the second application, I could only feel the pain if I tried to move my finger. For some reason, I kept trying. An hour or so later, the pain was still gone and I had regained some limited mobility. The big dent lingered for a couple of days, but the pain vanished within minutes of the injury. And get this…it never even bruised.

This is not voo doo. It’s a homeopathic treatment you can pick up at Whole Foods (or wherever the granola nut jobs hang out in your neighborhood). It eliminates pain, prevents bruising, and helps heal strains and sprains.

If you have kids, you will return to this post weekly and thank me.

Still don’t believe me? Then go directly to your rec room and try and pinch off a couple of your favorite appendages—one on each hand. Treat one with Arnica and let your mommy kiss the other one to make it feel better. Then come back here and tell us how things went.

How does this help with creativity? I don’t know about you, but I find it really hard to write creatively with throbbing body parts.

What about you? Any miracle cures lingering in your medicine cabinet?